Indulge me.

When you’re a very pregnant woman you become brutally honest and a little senile. I feel like both.

So I’m going to ramble for a minute or two. I have a million things running through my mind, but I’ll only touch on a few.

First, I do what ever I want. The first two trimesters I still cared about etiquette, but now it’s flown out the window. I eat what ever and when ever I want. Milk and cookies for breakfast? Yep. Jalapeno burger and shake after 10 at night? Sometimes. I park where ever I want, however I want. Crappy parking job and took two spots? Ehh, whatever. In the faculty’s parking lot only? Meh, whatever. Stick my butt out while I’m leaning on the shopping cart that’s holding up my weight? All the freakin time. I just don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. It’s so freeing and nice. I’m still nice to people and let people with a little basket of items cut in front of me in line when I have a full cart, but other things don’t seem to matter.

Second, I don’t have the same worries as a first-time mom. I remember a time when I would show up with a list of questions and concerns for my doctor. Then I would go through it item by item and have her address each one. Oh, innocent little Rachel. Now when I show up, I ramble off all my symptoms and ask what OTC drug I can take. I’m living off Rolaids for my heartburn, an inhaler for my asthma, and every now and then we throw in unisom if I want to sleep through the night without 20 bathroom breaks. And if my vitamins are giving me heartburn, I skip them at night and try during the day. It’s a trial and error process. When my doctor asks if I have any questions I stare at her for a minute and then ask where the top of the fundus is now or how my baby is positioned. And every now and then I ask about the hospital procedures since we just moved and this place is literally the most baby-friendly hospital I have ever been to. I just can’t believe it.

I still get those Babycenter emails telling me that my baby is the size of a cabbage, pineapple, kale and other kinds of produce. They mention the stuff ladies in my “birthclub” are worried about. I usually giggle at those topics and their solutions. Oh, I’m so jaded.

I had a burst of energy last week that let me do some “nesting”. Mostly I was making a bunch of projects and did some cleaning. I think my bedroom is the cleanest room in the house. I swear the rest of the house was clean, but the little people in my home have a lot of toys and shoes. Ehh, oh well.

Third, I’ve realized no matter how many babies you’ve popped out, it’s still perfectly normal to get nervous at the end. I mean, no matter how the baby enters the world and no matter how many times you’ve gone through it, it’s a different experience every single time. Last time I think I scared my doctor when I started crying as soon as they showed me my baby girl. Those were happy tears. I was so happy and relieved she made it into the world, I let go of 9 months of worrying about her. Well, the doctor didn’t know that and she started freaking out. Hah.

This time I’m nervous for different reasons. Who is going to watch the kids if it’s 4 in the morning? Will hubby be able to get home fast enough from work? What if our kid is still in school? I’m mostly concerned about other people than myself. My wonderful doctor actually asked me if I would have the help I need when the baby comes. She knows we just moved here and have other kids. But hubby has PTO already banked up and my mom is coming up to help out. So I’m all good. I was actually touched that she was concerned about me. It was very sweet. Awww, she’s worth the hour wait.

And lastly, the pain. I had epidurals with all of them. But every single time it wore off before I pushed them out. They always under-dose me. I have a high pain threshold, but I also have very high pain. Eh, whatever. I told my doctor about my past experiences and she won’t let that happen this time. She told me all the different things they can do. And she’s also very anti-cesarean in my case. She explained all the things they would do to help prevent me from needing one. But if it came to the worse case, she could have me in there and asleep in 3 minutes while she does her job.

I’ve got to say, I’m really impressed with my doctor. I’ve never felt more confident about my choice in doctors. She doesn’t talk down to me, she’s very open and candid, and she answers all my questions honestly. No sugar coating it. I love it. She’s also hilarious at times and knows how to lighten things up. I hate the time I spend in the waiting room and always swear I’m going to switch to another doctor, but then when I get to see her I remember why I picked her. She’s awesome. Seriously awesome.

I’m not worried about handling another baby. Been there, done that. Dealt with postpartum once, engorgement every time, colicky babies, sleepless nights, baby GERD….you name it. I’ve gotten through every single curve ball parenting could throw at me. And I honestly think it’s impossible to screw up now, if I haven’t already. You just roll with the punches. You have to. Otherwise you would go crazy.

Oh, and I have two frozen filet mignons and stuffed potatoes waiting to celebrate with hubby after I pop out this baby. I’m gonna cook that sucker medium rare…I love me some red meat just kissed with a little lick of fire. Eating well-done steaks for the last 9 months was killing me!

So, I’m just patiently waiting for baby to arrive. Trying to relax, getting rid of any lingering stress and just relax. Did I say relax? Hah. Things are moving pretty slow around here and it’s kind of nice. Wish me luck!

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